Letting Others Help You.

I recently met a woman who was going through a very difficult time. I offered on several occasions to help or get her help, but she always declined and asked me not to go to others for her sake.

Eventually, I stopped offering help.

Sure, it's good to go help her despite what she says. That's not my point. When I talked to her I sensed that she thought she was taking the "higher road" by declining others' help.

Sometimes our society romanticizes that characteristic--that the real "hero" suffers because he doesn't want to "put others out." While that might be a good quality to have, a better one is to let others help you when you cannot help yourself. Let others lighten your burdens when your hardships overwhelm you. When we close ourselves off and don't let others help, we only make difficult trials harder than they need to be.

We're humans. We aren't invulnerable. All of us will suffer and go through difficulties. Human relationships are a give-and-take. We give to others, but at times, we need to take what's given. It's only selfish if you take, take, take, and never give. It's unrealistic to expect yourself to shoulder all your trials alone.

And not only is it unrealistic, it's unnecessary.

What might be difficult for you might be easy for someone else. Let that person help you. If it's easy for them and they offered, you're hardly "putting them out" at all. When a friend can't open the peanut butter jar, and I can easily do it for them, then I'm not out anything worth noting.

Of course, we shouldn't be running for help every time we encounter something difficult--otherwise we will never learn and grow and become more self-reliant and independent. But sometimes, we just need help because we're overburdened or cannot help ourselves.

When help is accepted, both people are blessed. The person serving is blessed and the person receiving the service is blessed.

So, be honest with yourself, and when you need help, let others help you.

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Stacking Your Brainstorming Ideas

When I sit down to brainstorm--whether I'm letting my ideas free-flow or I'm trying to come up with a solution to a problem in my manuscript--I start listing possible ideas.

After I find several that work, I stare at my answers and try to decide which to use. I start weighing my ideas against one another. Sometimes I get in this little battle over them, weighing the pros and cons of each.

Then it hits me.

Can I find a way to use most or all of my ideas?

Usually the answer is yes.

And my story is better when I stack multiple ideas together. It's more likely to exceed my audience's expectations when I do that.

So, today's post is short, because it's simple. When brainstorming, see if you can stack your ideas and utilize as many as possible. You're story will likely be better because of it.

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2013 Resources for Writers

Last week I posted about the best books I found this year. Today, I'm listing all of the valuable resources I've found for writers, including a site where you can create your own audiobooks, references for writing tips, and a word processing plugin that will actually teach you to write better.

(Sidenote: Thanks for participating in our giveaway! You can see the winners here!)

References for Writers

ACX.com

If you hold the rights, you can go to ACX.com and turn your book into an audiobook. You can either read the book yourself, or hire an actor. Here's how it works for the latter:

1. You upload an excerpt of your book

2. Actors audition for it.

3. Judging from the auditions, you pick who you want to read it.

4. Once it's all recorded, you're set to sell it. ACX can get it up on major retail sites.

Watch this (fun) video about the process.

Check it out for yourself at ACX.com

The Emotion Thesaurus

One of the biggest problem areas for writers is conveying a character's emotions to the reader in a unique, compelling way. This book comes to the rescue by exploring seventy-five emotions and listing the possible body language cues, thoughts, and visceral responses for each.

Using its easy-to-navigate list format, readers can draw inspiration from character cues that range in intensity to match any emotional moment, including situations where a character is trying to hide their feelings from others. The Emotion Thesaurus also tackles common emotion-related writing problems and provides methods to overcome them.

This writing tool encourages writers to show, not tell emotion and is a creative brainstorming resource for any fiction project.

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Best Books of the Year

I didn't keep complete count of all the books I read this year, but at some point I estimated around 40 or 50--fiction, nonfiction, and unpublished. Here are the best books I read this year, in no particular order.

Fiction for Readers

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson

 Once, a hero arose to save the world. A young man with a mysterious heritage courageously challenged the darkness that strangled the land.

He failed.

For a thousand years since, the world has been a wasteland of ash and mist ruled by the immortal emperor know as the Lord Ruler. Every revolt has failed miserably.

Yet somehow, hope survives. Hope that dares to dream of ending the empire and even the Lord Rule himself. A new kind of uprising is being planned, one built around the ultimate caper, one that depends on the cunning of a brilliant criminal mastermind and the determination of an unlikely heroine, a street urchin who must learn to master Allomancy, the power of a Mistborn.

Read my review here. Or check it out on Amazon.

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

When Thomas wakes up in the lift, the only thing he can remember is his first name. His memory is blank. But he’s not alone. When the lift’s doors open, Thomas finds himself surrounded by kids who welcome him to the Glade—a large, open expanse surrounded by stone walls.

Just like Thomas, the Gladers don’t know why or how they got to the Glade. All they know is that every morning the stone doors to the maze that surrounds them have opened. Every night they’ve closed tight. And every thirty days a new boy has been delivered in the lift.

Thomas was expected. But the next day, a girl is sent up—the first girl to ever arrive in the Glade. And more surprising yet is the message she delivers.

Thomas might be more important than he could ever guess. If only he could unlock the dark secrets buried within his mind.

Read my review here. Or check it out on Amazon.

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

R is having a no-life crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he is a little different from his fellow Dead. He may occasionally eat people, but he’d rather be riding abandoned airport escalators, listening to Sinatra in the cozy 747 he calls home, or collecting souvenirs from the ruins of civilization.

And then he meets a girl.

First as his captive, then his reluctant house guest, Julie is a blast of living color in R’s gray landscape, and something inside him begins to bloom. He doesn’t want to eat this girl—although she looks delicious—he wants to protect her. But their unlikely bond will cause ripples they can’t imagine, and their hopeless world won’t change without a fight.

Read my review here. Or check it out on Amazon.

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Free Books, Gift Card, Critique, and Swag! Giveaway :)

This giveaway is now closed.

Hello my lovely followers! I'm giving away two eBooks (your choice) and a first 5-page critique alongside some other prizes from bloggers, like a $5 Amazon gift card, swag, and more books! Why? While it is my blog's 1st Birthday and the Holiday season and I'm hoping to finish the second draft of my novel by the end of the year(!), this is really just for fun! Just enter below with a click of the mouse. :)

(If you've already followed my blog, Twitter, or Facebook, click all three options below to enter.)

In other news, I've been working away on my book. I'll be honest, it's been tedious the last two weeks--the kind of two weeks that remind me that this really is work, not all play. But my revamps have totally been worth it. The scenes I've been working on are much better than before. Thank you for following my progress and thoughts here on my blog.

**Please help by telling others about the giveaway!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank you :)

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Unfortunately, it's people like that, that tend to get overlooked.

I found out that my (Great) Aunt Beth passed away yesterday. I've lived 15-20 minutes away from her for the last few years and never took the time to go visit her, even when she asked, mainly because I have a shy streak, and I was afraid of feeling awkward or not knowing what to say. I shouldn't have, because she never made me feel that way.

Now that opportunity is gone.

Try not to make the same mistake I did. I'm not down on myself. I just wanted to say something to help others remember what's actually important.

I wasn't very close to my Aunt Beth, but she was the kind of person you always felt good to be around and talk to. I get good feelings when I remember her, which, I think, is what we all hope to leave behind when we die. Even in her 80's, she was "with it." Positive, independent, loving, kind, not a complainer, not one to hold grudges.

Unfortunately, it's people like that, that tend to get overlooked.

Because they don't need our sympathies. Because we know whatever we do, they won't hold ill feelings. Because they don't complain about their problems. Because they're self-reliant. Because we know they can handle whatever disaster comes their way with a smile, even if, sometimes, it's only a half-hearted smile.

But that doesn't mean they deserve our attention and love any less.

So instead of giving me sympathy, go write someone a thank-you note, go call a friend, just sit with a family member--whether they're on top of their world or hanging on by their fingertips.

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First Reactions to Catching Fire

To no one's surprise, I saw Catching Fire opening day. I think The Hunger Games movies are some of the best book-to-film adaptations I've ever seen, if not the best. The people behind the films actually kind of get the books. The acting is exceptional. It was so good between President Snow and Plutarch, that the scenes where they are sitting around talking are some of my favorites, even though there is no action or movement, nothing but talking.

First, I'll get some of my dislikes out of the way:

Sam Claflin as Finnick.

To his credit, he can act. I just don't think he can act Finnick. President Snow has built Finnick's celebrity status around his sex appeal, so Finnick is supposed to be very seductive with a long line of lovers.

Finnick is my favorite character is in the series, so, I was a bit sad, but it could have been worse. Haymitch is my second favorite character, which leads me to my second disappointment.

They cut Haymitch's backstory! Learning about Haymitch's own experience in the last quarter quell added depth to his character. I wasn't surprised they cut it, but I still missed it.

On to what I liked--wait, there are only two things I didn't like in a film adaptation? That's the shortest list ever!

Loves:

They got my favorite line of the whole series in: when Peeta says Katniss is pregnant.

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Writing as a Lifestyle

When you decide to take writing seriously, you're making a lifestyle choice as much as you are making a career choice. As a writer, you may have to change up your living conditions. If you haven't made any sells yet, that might mean stretching your $20 or leaving your work only to come home and work some more. It might mean staying up late to get a chapter in or waking up early to fit in an hour of editing before your day job. Frankly, you'll probably have to cut back on time with friends and family and hobbies, because to be a great writer, you have to not only write, but read, and study, and it helps to network and have an online presence as well.

I've been living a writing lifestyle for over a year and a half now. This post will cober some things I've learned that have helped me be most productive. It seemed fitting for National Novel Writing Month.

Embracing the Writing Life

Finding (Making) Time

The most important thing about being a writer is to write! This is your priority. This means you need to put in the time and effort. Talking or daydreaming about it, or staring at the keyboard isn't enough. If you're a parent or work at another job, like I mentioned above, this might mean fitting time in at night or in the early morning, or during nap time. 

If you have a more flexible schedule, try finding out what time of the day you write best, and schedule your life around it. I've heard that most writers work best right before or after sleeping, because that's usually when the creative side of the brain is active. It's true for me. So I wake up extra early and get in some writing before I go to work. If I have trouble getting back into my story in the afternoon, I take a power nap, and magically, writing becomes easier.  I was a little skeptical of this idea before, but now I know how it really can play a role in my productivity.

Getting the Most out of Your Writing Session

You've made the time, now, make the most out of your time.

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Surrounding Yourself with Believers

Much has been said about believing in yourself when no one else does. But what about the inverse of that? Surround yourself with people who believe in you, so that when your own confidence shakes, you have someone else's to lean on.

I've had several experiences that shook my confidence. Without getting too personal, I've had periods where all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry (and sometimes I did). But I knew people still believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. For a while, I leaned on them until I could stand on my own again.

When someone says something kind about you or your work, hold onto it. Put it in a special drawer, or start a word document and copy and paste it there. If your confidence ever shakes, open the drawer and begin reading. Know that others believe in you. And that, if no one else, God believes in you. God will never give up on you, so never give up on yourself.

Here are some notes I've gotten about my writing that I've held onto when I needed someone else's faith. I hope you have some too.

"I just love reading what you write...with your talent, you could list the ingredients on a cereal box and it would be riveting." 

"I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your stories. Reading them together was kind of like sitting down to a great dinner—with an equally wonderful dessert."

"Last, but certainly not least, #FF is for my friend @Kami_Marynda. She is new to twitter but remember her name, she is going to be famous!"

"I ate this chapter up. I love it! My stomach just fell out when you ended that scene."

"Wow! thats all i can really say...I felt like crap before reading these stories but now I feel like I could take on a drunken mob! Your writing style is excellent as if you really were in the characters' shoes."

Avoid spending too much time around people who tear you down. We can't avoid those people completely, but why put ourselves in that situation more than we have to? Life is hard enough already.

Be the person who uplifts others, who writes notes of thanks, who gives praise when it's due. Supply others with sincere words they can put in their special drawer. That doesn't mean you can never criticize something, but seek to build encouragement rather than discouragement.

Be the person that can believe in others.

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Casual Friday: Self Defense Against Dying in Your Sleep

I'm trying out a new segment on my blog called "Casual Fridays," and they'll happen semi-randomly. Basically I'll do a short, casual post about anything--the progress on my novel, something funny I found on the internet, a realization I recently had, childhood stories, whatever.

Today I'm starting with one of my favorite youtube videos that happens to relate to Halloween. Meet Rae Amsley. You'll never forget him. In this video, he'll teach you self defense against dying in your sleep.




Two years later and I still laugh about this video.

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Writing Creepy: Perverting the Normal

(Listen or watch this writing tip on Youtube)

Creepy doesn’t have to be outlandish to send chills down a spine. Often what’s really creepy is something normal that has been twisted, distorted, or perverted either physically or through the story line.

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Calculating How Long Your Novel will take to Write

* You can listen to this post on Youtube

 

First, I would like to say, no, this post does not give you a mathematical equation to literally figure out how many hours, days, months, years, whatever, that it will take you write your novel. Obviously there are a lot of factors that depend on you personally as a writer.

But what this post does give you is a questionnaire that helps you determine how complex your novel is, which will then, hopefully, help you gauge what kind of effort and energy you will need to complete your story.

While some authors write faster than others, some stories, frankly, take longer to write than others.

And it doesn’t just depend on the length of your manuscript. Some stories have simpler structures, others more complex.  Here are some questions you can ask yourself when plotting your novel to help you gauge how long it will take to write it.

Keep track of your answers. They run from simple to complex, with the letter “A” being simple and onward, more complex. Remember, the more complex doesn’t mean the better your story is. Simple stories can be powerful too.

(Note that I created this myself, so if you have any ideas for improvement, please let me know. This was the best I could get it at this moment.)


How large is your cast of characters?

A. Small cast of characters
B. Medium cast of characters
C. Large cast of characters


How many different settings are in your story?

A. Story takes place in mostly one area. (For example, the character never leaves the farm.)
B. Story takes place over a lot of different areas I’m familiar with
C. Story takes place in another time or place that I will need to research extensively
D. Story takes place in another time and place I will need to research extensively

or

Story takes place on a completely different world I need to create from scratch

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Muse in Concert! (Basically a Post with Stellar Pictures)

I usually post about my writerly adventures. Muse totally counts, right? They had to write their own music, and you can tell they spent some time thinking out the lyrics because it's not like "Baby, baby, baby, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah." Instead they say "green belts wrapped around our minds, And endless red tape to keep the truth confined."

Totally poetic.

Anyway, Muse has been touring North America this year, and I made a trip out to go see them. They're best known for their songs "Supermassive Black Hole," "Hysteria," "Time is Running Out," "Uprising," and "Madness." They're one of my favorite bands (Creed is my first favorite), and Muse put on one of the best shows I've ever seen. And, their music was better live, which is always a great sign.

What surprised me is that they only played fast songs, and they played nonstop for about an hour and a half. No introductions. No "Hey, this is the song we're playing next," or "I got the idea for this song..." Only music. Even I was getting a little worn out from rocking out, and I wasn't even playing.

Also, as you can see by the pictures, they put on a good show with lights, lasers, strobe lights, screens, and mist. Totally awesome.

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Actions Vs. Words: the Loud and the Quiet

You might have an idea of what this post will be about based on the title. "Actions speak louder than words," right? Some people are "all talk and no action," blah blah blah--most of us have heard all those sayings before. True, all of those cliches are techniques you can incorporate in your writing, specifically in your characters. But this post is taking the whole actions vs. words in a different direction, one you probably haven't heard or thought about before. I hadn't until recently.

Last week I was watching a t.v. show where the lead female character spends most of her time yelling, complaining, and bossing others around. She's basically the only female character in the whole show. And she's loud, self-centered, and annoying. She talks a lot.

What is with this girl? I wondered. Is this how the writers view women? 

Then, I think, on a subconscious level, I remembered that saying, "actions speak louder than words." So I started watching what she did. I soon realized I had misjudged her. She's the most intelligent character on the show. She talks a lot about herself, but she's actually not self-centered; she often volunteers to help others out. She lets strangers stay at her home when they have nowhere else to go. She's decisive and independent. Without her talents and abilities, the show wouldn't even exist.

She doesn't boast about her good qualities. They're subtle. They're quiet. You'll miss them if you aren't looking for them. She's a better person than she appears to be.

Because her shortcomings are so loud, I couldn't see passed them to her strengths.

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