What is a Play-by-Play? And Why are They a Problem?

What is a Play-by-Play? 

In writing, a "play-by-play" happens when the author simply follows the character around while the character does unimportant things, like get dressed, eat, and do homework. It's like getting a narrative version of the character's schedule. For example:

Jared woke up and took a shower, thinking about the last baseball game he watched until the water turned cold. In the kitchen, he made waffles and eggs for breakfast, while the rest of the household slept. Then, he went to the grocery store to pick up some deli meats for lunch later. He and John were planning on a hike that afternoon, so Jared also gassed up--it was a bit of a drive to get to the trailhead. Back at home he unloaded the dishwasher and emptied the trash. He decided to watch another game to pass the time. John called to make sure they were still hiking, because he'd heard it might rain. Jared said he was still up for it. They decided to leave earlier.

To be honest, I'm not sure at this point if I came up with the term "play-by-play" or if I heard it somewhere. I could only find two sources that use the term, and my usage predates those sources by a lot . . . though I've never done a post exclusively on the topic. Some of my clients also now use the term.

But in any case, can you see or sense a problem here? This isn't story. It's lazy writing. So let's get into why such passages are problematic (and then when they aren't).

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Managing Time in Summaries

The term "setting" refers to both time and place. Though we often focus on the place part when we talk about writing, the time part is equally important. When writing novels or short stories, we need to properly navigate the reader through the passage of time, so they never feel disoriented, and this is true for summaries just as it is for scenes.

Recently, I was asked to comment on how to handle time in summaries, but my answer was long enough to merit a whole blog post, so, here we are. And while we can certainly talk about the past and future in summaries, for this, I will be focused (mostly) on linear time.

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The 5 Types of Lines We Use to Craft Stories (and How to Use Them to Reveal Character)

Recently I was listening to a lecture from #1 New York Times best-selling author Brandon Sanderson where he listed four different kinds of lines we use to write stories--and while I knew each type existed, I had never really thought of listing them out and talking about them, and as I considered that, I also thought of another type he didn't mention. 

When it comes to actually writing a story (on a line-by-line level), you really only have five elements to do that with. And one of the differences between a beginning writer and a professional-level writer, is that a professional-level writer will convey more than what the lines are saying on the page--they'll convey more than the text itself. In contrast, a beginning writer often uses more words than necessary to convey concepts that the audience already understands. So while a professional writer tends to write text jam-packed with meaning, a beginning writer tends to write long-winded text with little meaning.

As an example of how to bring more meaning to text, I'm going to cover how each type of line can be used to reveal character (in part because this is what Sanderson does in his lecture). Beginning writers tend to write whole passages of introspection in the opening where nothing really happens--usually in an effort to convey character. But in reality, every kind of line can be used to reveal character nearly all the time. You don't have to bring the story to a grinding halt to do it--as long as you know how to do it. 

So let's go through the five types of lines we have in our arsenal. 

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Scene vs. Summary & When to Use Which

When I was a young writer, I didn't fully understand what a scene was and what a summary was. Later, when I understood the difference, I wasn't always sure when to use which. These days, I occasionally help writers with the same things. They may use summary for what should have been a scene, or they may write a whole scene for what really should have been summary. Understanding the difference and when to use which can be key when writing a successful novel. 

Sure, some of it is subjective.

But what might be surprising to some, is that most of the time, one is more . . . "correct" than the other.  

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On-Page or Off-Page? Discerning Significant Scenes

Like a lot of writers, you've probably, at some time, been at a point in your story where you wondered if an event needed to be a scene or not. Could it happen off-page and be referred to? Does it need its very own scene? Can it be shuffled into the beginning, end, or middle of another scene? Or you may have found yourself writing scenes about events that you later realized didn't really merit a scene.

Once in a while when editing, I come across stories where an important event of a viewpoint character happens off-page. Sometimes this is done simply to try to surprise the audience as to a character's decision. It might create false suspense. Other times it might be done to shorten a story. Some writers might do it because they don't want to write the scene or don't know how to.

In contrast, some writers may include every event of their viewpoint character on-page, which may lead to drawn-out pacing and inflated storytelling (and readers wondering, do I really need to know this?)

Of course, like all writing rules, what does and does not merit a scene can be somewhat subjective. That's why they are more like guidelines rather than rules. For organic stories, this may be even more true. In formulaic stories, especially if you are following a beat sheet, it's clearer what should have a scene and what shouldn't. In any case, there is some leeway, and of course, it depends on the story you are telling and effect you want on the reader.

Generally speaking, however, significant events in the story should happen on-page, in a scene. The exception to this is backstory. We don't need a flashback scene for all of your character's backstory. But in most stories, from the moment the story begins to its ending, significant events should happen on-page. The more significant the event, the more likely it should happen on-page. This means that if one of your plot lines deals with romance, and someone confesses they are in love with your protagonist, it should probably happen on-page. If the Grinch's heart grows two sizes, it should probably happen in a scene. If your protagonist battles an enemy, it should probably be on-page.

The less significant the event, the less likely it needs to be on-page. What your character ate for supper each night probably doesn't need to be in its own scenes (unless your story deals with cooking or worldbuilding, or magical creatures that eat a lot like Peregrin Took). A full-blown scene on the drive to work probably doesn't need to be in your manuscript.

But trying to explain all this is like trying to hold water in your palms. There are a lot of different stories, so what might merit a scene in one story might not merit one in another story. It's not black and white. For example, in a story that has a rich fantasy world, like Harry Potter, a scene about what Harry had for dinner during the sorting ceremony might be completely appropriate, as one of the main draws of the books is to transport the reader to Hogwarts.

So another important factor is why the audience is picking up the book. If you have an adventure story, you darn better include the biggest adventure moments of your character on-page. If you are writing fantasy, the moments that have the highest amount of wonder that your viewpoint character experiences, should probably be on-page. In a horror, the scariest moment of your protagonist should be on-page.

Moments that significantly affect your protagonist personally or moments that influence their character arc or alter their motives should probably be in a scene.

If these things don't happen on-page, the writer should have a valid reason for not including them. What you definitely don't want to do is leave your reader feeling cheated. If I pick up a romance story, I sure as heck better see the moment where the protagonist and love interest confess their love for one another and kiss.

Remember, the more significant the event, the more likely it needs to happen in scene.

Other times, you may have important events that the reader needs to know, but aren't significant enough for a scene. In these cases, you can put the information in summary. For example, if you are writing a story of an adventure, but there is a stretch of land where the characters have to get through a huge bog that is difficult (but rather boring) and only a couple of interesting things happen, then you would probably want to summarize the bog. Now some people may say you should replace the bog with something else or find a way to make it exciting. You can try that, but it depends on what your story is. My point is, in almost every story, there are parts that needs to be summarized.

I don't need to read full scenes about every one of Harry's Quidditch practices. I just need a summary to convey how hard the players are working, what their interactions are like, and the rivalries that are building up.

However, keep in mind, that summary still needs to be interesting, either in content, or in the way it's told (preferably both).

Almost all stories should have information or events that happen off-page. Why? Because it makes your story feel more real and authentic. It also makes the story "bigger than itself." Often this sort of thing best happens with backstory. Your characters don't exist in a void. They should feel like they were alive before the story began, even if it's in small ways, like your protagonist remembering in passing a time when she slept through church. Side characters should also have their own lives off the page, which should be alluded to.

In any case, here are some questions I've come up to help you discern if an event should happen on-page or off-page:


- How significant is this event?

- Does the event alter the storyline? How much?

- Does it alter an important character in a significant way? How much?

- Does it convey important information to the audience? How important?

- Is it a very thematic moment?

- Does it feed the audience's emotional needs? (for example, in a story about a traveler, chronicling what happens each day fulfills what the audience picked up the book for.)



As for writing scenes, you can find a lot of great information online. Ideally, scenes accomplish multiple things at once. So for example, if your protagonist tells his mom he lost the love of his life, and later tells his best friend the same thing, you might want to see if you can set-up a scene where he tells both of them at the same time. When looking at your theme, you might want to ask yourself if there is another scene you can fit into.

Some scenes are better left simple. Deeply personal moments or vulnerable moments might happen better in mostly their own scene (though you can still convey other things about character). You don't want to stack things inappropriately. For example, in some classic romances, it might be inappropriate to have your character confess his love when his sinking ship is being attacked by the undead. HOWEVER in an adventure story, it might be entirely appropriate for them to get married in that moment, like in Pirates of the Caribbean. 

Almost all scenes should show a change. In rare cases, the point of the scene might be to show how things stay the same. But 9/10 times, the scene needs to convey change. It can be external and part of the plot at hand, or it can be internal, about how a character changes. Some changes are very small. Some are big. But scene should almost always change the story in some way.

And with this topic, we could try to get very nit-picky, but storytelling doesn't always work that way. Often what is significant or not significant depends on how the story is set-up to the reader, so don't give yourself a headache trying to nail all this down like science. Many writers have a good internal sense of what should happen on-page. What should only happen off-page may be harder to discern for people. Take this article as a guideline to help you consider when to do which, and don't feel like you have to adhere to everything perfectly. There may be special cases where something very significant is much better in summary than scene, or off-page than on.

Thunderclap - Thank you to everyone who has helped my with my Thunderclap campaign for my new editing website, FawkesEditing.com. We now have 70 people who have pledged on it. Yay! But I still need 30 more! So if you haven't helped out yet, I would really appreciate it if you did. You can learn more and help here. 

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Breaking Writing Rules Right: "Show, don't Tell"

It's one of the first rules of creative writing you'll hear. It may be the rule you hear the most: "Show, don't tell." Today I'll explain what that rule means, why it's in place, and then why following it too closely can actually harm rather than help your writing. There are places in writing where telling is just frankly better, and even more powerful.

What's the Rule?

The Rule:

Show, don't tell.

Why it's a Rule

Honestly, almost any beginning writer who is getting into writing needs to hear this advice, and probably several times. When I was in college, this was like scripture. I heard it every week, if not every day. This is because naturally, we are wired to "tell" a story rather than "show" one. Telling is easier, and if we don't know the difference, we just do what's natural and easy.

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Deviating the Reader's Experience from the Character's

In my last post I talked about how subtext works and how to (not) write it. I mentioned that in some places, in some stories, you may want to make your reader's experience deviate from your character's experience.

Uh oh.

Does that not break a writing rule? Don't we want to write our stories so our readers feel like they are experiencing what our characters are? After all, I wrote that whole post about writing empathetically instead of sympathetically and sentimentally, and before that I wrote this post about putting the emotional tension in your reader, instead of writing about it on the page.

So what gives?

There are some situations where making your reader experience something different (and sometimes the opposite) of your viewpoint character is exactly what you want and need to do. So let's talk about how to break this writing rule properly.

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