Twilight turns 20 this month, so I'm bringing you the story dissection and analysis no one asked me for, but everyone can learn from (with my editorial feedback too 😉). And would you believe it? We all misread this story from the start!
Twilight. As infamous as it is famous. Especially in the writing community. In fact, despite it being one of the biggest bestsellers of modern times, few in the writing community will touch it with anything other than a ten-foot pole. Almost no writer can reference this series without losing some respect. And if you must bring it up, you must do it derisively or at least apologetically; otherwise, no one will take what you say seriously.
So do I dare bring it up? In a whole article dissecting its strengths and weaknesses? On my blog? Apparently.
Say what you will about Twilight, but it has been more successful and the author has earned more from it than any of us could realistically dream of.
Which means, despite its flaws, it must be doing some critical things right.
How did I get here?
Well, it all started back in January, when the films returned to my local theaters (though apparently they are returning to national theaters later this month). A family member asked me to see them with her, and I love going to movies. Naturally, I said yes--even though I remembered how cringy the films could be. (Why did they cast Kristen Stewart as Bella? Why use a CGI baby? How do they take such amazing music and place it in the most awkward, terrible places imaginable?)
I hadn't watched or read anything Twilight in over ten years, and the first film was as bad as I remembered.
Yet at this time, I was also writing a post on Meet Cutes, and I decided to go back to Twilight to read the Meet Cute--because it has always been memorable to me--and when I retrieved the book, I decided I wanted to also read the Early Glance, so I started at the beginning, feeling unsure what I would think about the text.
I had read the series when it was first getting popular, before I had any kind of professional understanding, training, or classes on writing. And I only read the books once each. So I wondered, would I hate Twilight now? Would I even be able to get to the Meet Cute?
To my surprise, I ended up reading all of Act I.
To my bigger surprise, as we continued attending the films, I . . . well . . . I got teary-eyed in Breaking Dawn, Part I.
Then a lot of things began clicking into place in my writerly brain. Despite its flaws, with my editorial background, I now clearly saw past its imperfect cosmetics to its core--what the series was really about, and even more, the potential for what it could be.
Just after this, I flew out to a writing conference, so I got the first audiobook to listen to.
Considering this was the first novel Stephenie Meyer wrote, ever, and that she didn't write it with intentions to publish, and that its initial request came from an assistant who was also brand new to the industry . . . I was curious how well it followed story structure, or if it even followed it at all.
I discovered some interesting things.
But first, I want to share some thoughts on the book, particularly with those who haven't read it.
***
And because this is a long one, I also wanted to list its sections up front:
Is Twilight “Good”? Or is it “Bad”?
Edward is the Protagonist; Bella is the Viewpoint Character
Character Arcs and Themes (Edward and Bella)
The Relationship Plotline as the Primary Plotline
The Structural “Skeleton” of Twilight
Act I: Moving from Classmates to Friends
Act II, Part I: Moving from Friends to Couple
Act II, Part II: Moving from Couple to (Physically) Separated
Act III: Moving from Separated to Reunited (Rescued and Rescuer)
Editorial Feedback (Improving Twilight)
Plot Points
External Plotline
Bella Swan
Thoughts on Controversial Cosmetics
Extra Diagrams
Is Twilight "Good?" Or is it "Bad"?
Despite its success, a lot of people I talk to in the writing community actually haven't read Twilight. A lot of them have. But a lot of them haven't. Because of its negative reputation, people are sometimes surprised to find I don't hate or even dislike the series. In fact, I openly admit to enjoying it (which shouldn’t be too shocking given what I’ve chosen for my vocation—to help writers write better). I actually think it has some great concepts.
The way I explain Twilight is, it's not as bad as everyone says, and it's not as good as everyone says.
It's obvious it was written by a newer writer.
Most people write several books before they are traditionally published, and even more before they write a New York Times or USA Today bestseller (if ever).
But this is Stephenie Meyer's first book. Literally.
Coming back to it, I feel it's clear she had an English degree by this point--she'd learned some of the entry-level writing rules, like appealing to the senses, and she even does have an okay understanding of story structure. Honestly, it's quite a bit better than a lot of people's first (often unpublished) novels.
And there are a few things I think she does well.
Some Strengths:
- While handled somewhat clumsily by the author, some of its foundational concepts are kind of amazing. How can a vampire be sincerely in love with someone he also wants to drink up by nature? Out of all the relationship stories I've seen, I have to say, Edward Cullen has it the worst. He already hates what he is, and whatever he chooses with Bella will amplify that and worse, hurt her, the love of his life. To him, there is literally no blissful ending in sight (and no going back either). Not only does this make him an interesting character, but it's an interesting, seemingly impossible relationship plot, which also all works together to bring in some pretty powerful themes, believe it or not.
Is all this executed to its greatest potential? Certainly not. But that doesn't mean it's all terrible either. (We'll get more into some of those topics below.)
- I think Meyer does a great job of transporting her target audience into the story, so that they feel what Bella is feeling. Assuming you don't find yourself to be way off target for this book, it's not hard to find yourself emotionally invested in the story, to feel like you are in the story, experiencing what Bella is experiencing. When picking it up again recently, it wasn't long before I felt like I was the new girl falling in love with a mysterious vampire.
- This can be a pretty intimate series, and I think it handles that quite well. This isn't to say it has a high spice level. Anyone who has read it can tell you it's rather mild. There is no sex until the honeymoon in the last book, and even then, it's "fade to black." But the story feels personal, even confidential.
Unfortunately, though, such things rarely adapt to film well. Generally, films feel much more public, at least compared to books; we go to movies with other people and watch shows in living rooms. I think a lot of Twilight's appeals got lost when adapted to screen. What feels intimate on page seems stupid or silly when viewed on a screen. (Just as many intimate things can, when in a public setting). And some of the filmmakers' and actors' choices didn't help either.
But the books certainly aren't perfect.
Some Weaknesses:
- On the surface level, there are a lot of lines and descriptions and dialogue that could be cut without hurting anything. So when reading the story again, it felt kind of bloated and overwritten to me, and I got a bit antsy with the leisurely pacing because of this. There are a lot of play-by-plays, which I'm usually discouraging new writers from doing (by "play-by-plays" I mean the author following the characters around while they do unimportant things, like wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, work on homework, etc.)
- There are also some other faux pas at the line and scene level--minor viewpoint errors, too much writing about the weather (though arguably, the weather matters a bit more in this book than in most, but not as much as the amount of attention it gets), and too much happening around food (ditto my last parentheses).
- Reading the first book again, I sometimes felt like there were not enough stakes and goals, and the external plotline doesn't start until Act III, which is really odd, structurally. But I'll talk more about structure below as well.
- Then there are some other story aspects that tend to get criticized, like Bella's weakness and passivity and Edward's characteristics as an immortal vampire (I mean, he does stalk her . . . in the name of being protective . . . and he goes in her room, without permission). I feel that these criticisms and more are fair, but their existence starts to make more sense when you look at the structure and themes, and when you realize that, in actuality, Edward is structured to be the true protagonist, not Bella (more on all that below). I'm not condoning all the behaviors in this book, but I don't think the book is condoning all of them either.
So, certainly this series is not perfect, but I don't know that it's trying to be. Stephenie Meyer didn’t write this with publication in mind; she wrote it because she had a dream about the characters and wanted to finish their story on page, for herself. It was her sister who suggested she try to get it published.
Enjoying Twilight is kind of like enjoying a Hallmark or Lifetime or (insert another network) original movie, or a B movie, or a straight-to-streaming/DVD film, or a piece of AU fanfiction that leans into the "slice-of-life" feel. On some level, you know it's not "Shakespeare," but it's appealing and you still enjoy it regardless. It's a "guilty pleasure," like eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream. So, you feel like you need to apologize to the universe for having it.
But maybe not everything needs to be "Shakespeare."
Maybe there is nothing technically wrong with liking chocolate ice cream once in a while. You just need to recognize it's not what's going to optimize your health.
Liking Twilight isn't a sin in my book, but you certainly can't rely on it exclusively if you want to be the world's next great author.
And really, none of us should rely on any work exclusively for any reason.
And as a side note, to be honest, I sometimes feel like Twilight has become the old Barbie. Loads of people loved it, and then critics swooped in and told everyone how bad it was. I mean, don't you know that Barbie is so destructive with its consumerism and unrealistic beauty expectations?! If you show any liking or sympathy toward it, you must hate feminism and not care about young girls! But then the Barbie movie came out, and women started vocalizing that while the criticisms were fair, the Barbie brand didn't actually really impact them the way the critics kept saying it did. Me, my sisters, my mom, and almost all my best friends read Twilight, and I don't think any of us were actually negatively impacted by it--if anything, we had fun.
I mean, I certainly believe literature can powerfully change hearts and minds (absolutely!), even in subconscious ways. But at the same time, it's also worth remembering that Twilight is one story in a whole ocean of stories. Rather than completely shunning something you think is troublesome, wouldn't it be better to discuss it and expose readers to more stories? To more ideas? More ways of thinking? And to let them make up their own minds through critical thinking? I mean, is the story really promoting and impacting people as negatively as the critics say, that it deserves to be ridiculed the instant its title is uttered? While certainly some of the criticism for Twilight is fair, frankly the series does also teach some positive things as well.
So . . . I think it's unfair to say Twilight offers no value. It certainly got some things right. For one, it knows exactly how to feed its target audience. (One that was underfed at the time.)
And like a Hallmark film (though the emotional appeals and tones are very different), the target audience can easily see themselves in the main character. A gawky teen girl who feels out of sync with the world around her. And like a Hallmark film, it taps into some level of wish fulfillment--falling in love with someone beautiful.
I mean, Twilight is most definitely not a Hallmark film--they have different conventions. But I think they cater to their audiences in comparable ways.
I think one of my fellow writer friends said it well: Twilight does a great job as "self-insert" fiction. Bella is, in a large sense, actually an "everyman" (or "everywoman") character. She's a stand-in for the target audience. But before I get ahead of myself any more than I already have . . . let's get into how this story is structured, and then even what it's been criticized for will start to make some writerly sense.
*The term "self-insert" is another ambiguous writing term. Most use it to mean the author inserted herself into the story, but it's also used sometimes to refer to an "everyman" character, where the audience inserts themselves. I'm referring to the latter, specifically.
The Story Structure of Twilight
Edward is the Protagonist; Bella is the Viewpoint Character
Bella is not the protagonist of the story. She is the viewpoint character. Edward is the protagonist of the story.
I know! I know! Some of you are ready to argue with me clear to Neptune.
After all, we've had two decades of writers, fans, the internet, and I'm sure Meyer herself calling Bella the protagonist.
But reading the story again, and looking at its structure through the lens of story theory, Edward, not Bella, is the true protagonist. Bella is the deuteragonist who is also the viewpoint character. She is the Influence Character. And when you understand this, it will reframe the whole book!
Almost always, always the protagonist and viewpoint character will be one in the same. After all, almost always, the protagonist makes the most sense for the viewpoint character. We usually want to be the closest to the protagonist. We usually want to see the story from the protagonist's perspective.
But there are stories where the viewpoint character is not the same as the protagonist. The most famous example is Sherlock Holmes, where Watson is the viewpoint character while Holmes is the protagonist.
Sort of similar to our Twilight setup, even if they are completely different genres and stories.
But don't just take my word for it, I can make my case.
The word "protagonist" comes from the Greek word "prōtagōnistḗs," which literally means "first combatant." This is typically the character who combats the antagonist the most. He is typically the one who struggles in the story the most.
But it's more than that.
The protagonist should (almost) always be the most active in the plot.
What this means is that the protagonist is arguably the biggest problem-solver of the story.
It does not matter if the protagonist is characteristically the most lazy person in the world; within the context of a well-structured story, he will be the one trying to solve the plot problems--if only so he can go back to being lazy. You can't have a decent story if the protagonist isn't trying to solve problems. You can't have a true protagonist that doesn't.
This, in turn, means that the protagonist is often exercising the most meaningful agency. What the protagonist chooses to do is one of the biggest influencers of the plot--no matter how modest those choices appear on the surface level, no matter how small they may seem in comparison to the antagonist's. If the protagonist is not influencing the direction of the story, then there is probably something broken with the story.
The protagonist is almost always the biggest player in resolving the conflict. He is the one who does something that defeats (or leads to the defeat of) the antagonistic force. Or, depending on the story, he is the one who does something that leads to him being defeated by the antagonistic force.
This means he is the main player at the climax. And likewise, he should be a main player in completing all (or most) of the major plot turns of the story.
He is the assertive one, and he is the one that makes things happen.
In Twilight, this. is. Edward!
Edward, not Bella, is the one who is struggling with the antagonistic force the most (his vampiric tendencies). Edward is the biggest "combatant" in the whole novel. He's also arguably the most active in the plot. He is the one who influences the biggest pushes and pulls in the relationship. He is the one who is most assertive. He is the biggest problem-solver. He is the one who exercises the most meaningful agency.
He is the one who resolves the conflicts at the climax. (In contrast, Bella doesn't resolve hardly anything.) It's Edward who must help defeat James and, more importantly, overcome his antagonistic tendencies to save Bella!
It's Edward who most influences the turns of the story.
And it's also worth mentioning, Edward is the one with the biggest character arc (which isn't necessary for a protagonist, but certainly is what is most common). He is also the character who has the most to lose. Sure, Bella is in danger of dying, but as the book repeatedly points out, death is nothing compared to being the reason your loved one is dead (or worse, killing your loved one yourself on accident, which is what Edward fears).
Edward struggles the most. He finally falls in love with someone, and all the possible outcomes suck. He either accidentally kills her (traumatizing), gets her turned into a "monster" (which he literally believes means she's soul-less), allows her to grow old and die (tragic), or hurts her by leaving her (which he does try to do multiple times, and which also, arguably, puts his family at risk). Whatever he chooses, the outcomes are bad. Whatever he chooses, he will loathe himself, what he is, even more, and worse, hurt the love of his life. They'll both be worse off, it seems, regardless of his decisions, and he can't go back in time and undo their meeting.
Edward has the biggest problem to solve, period.
In contrast, Bella is the viewpoint character, but structurally she is not the protagonist.
This isn't to say she doesn't do any of these things whatsoever, but what she does and deals with pales in comparison to Edward.
She's the deurtagonist, the Influence Character, the viewpoint character.
She's meant to be a stand-in for the audience. She's the "everyman."
Everyman characters tend to be more bland, more passive, more of a blank slate--so the target audience can easily project themselves onto the character.
It's sort of like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" story, but instead of choosing, you are simply along for the ride.
It's a stand-in.
And while Bella doesn't fit the everyman character in every way exactly, she's pretty close, and certainly exists on that spectrum in the first book.
Because, as I mentioned above, most of the target audience can relate to her--feeling gawky and out of sync with the world, feeling like a teenager falling deep into love for the first time.
And when we realize this is how the story is actually structured, some of what Twilight is criticized for, actually makes some structural sense.
Yes, Bella is weaker and even more passive than a lead character should be. Because she's an everyman character. She is not the protagonist. She's the ordinary human we slip our minds into.
We couldn't start this series in Edward's point of view. Not only is this paranormal romance (so he's arguably the "wrong sex," at least for back then), but he's way too supernatural, otherworldly for the target audience. Anyway, the target audience doesn't want to be Edward, they want to fall in love with him (which I'm sure some of you are bristling at, but that is how the story is structured).
And so is Bella.
Even if these are completely different genres.
Like I said, Edward is too supernatural and otherworldly. Not only does he have all his vampiric abilities (speed, strength, enhanced senses, and more), but he also reads minds. All the time. He can't "mute" or filter out others' thoughts. And because he can read Alice's mind, he can also see the future.
That's a lot, arguably too much, to enjoy right in the opening of the story.
It's too big a jump to ask of the target audience for this story.
I'm not saying it can't be done, but if Meyer went that route straight out of the gate, it would have never gotten the following it did. (And I'm not saying she consciously made this choice; I think it was in part subconscious.)
In contrast to Edward, Bella is painfully ordinary, or arguably, less than ordinary. A much less intimidating and much more relatable character to slip into the mind and body of.
True, Midnight Sun exists (for better or for worse). But it's an add-on to the series. It's what you read after you've read Twilight. So yes, it's in Edward's point of view, but that's after the audience is already introduced to this world and its characters and Edward's abilities. No one starts the series reading Midnight Sun (again, Edward is too much too fast); we start it with Twilight (which is how I'll be looking at all this in this post).
And true, many who write romance argue there are really two protagonists--the male lead and the female lead. I'm not against that, but in order for those characters to really be two protagonists, they must really be two protagonists.
I don't feel like I'm getting that with Twilight. Technically speaking, Edward is significantly more of a protagonist than Bella is!
So I rest my case, and I assume I've convinced you. 😉
Edward is the protagonist, and Bella is the viewpoint character.
. . . At least for this first book.
Character Arcs and Themes (Edward and Bella)
With that out of the way, we can now look at the character arcs and themes more clearly.
Edward has a positive steadfast character arc. At the heart of his deepest desires, he wants to not be a monster and he wants to do this by being moral and exercising self-control over his vampiric nature. He also believes in and values humanity (he may seem disinterested in humans in general, but he highly values what it means to be human). That all gets challenged, though, when Bella enters his life. Her scent and blood are particularly intoxicating to him--like a personal drug--and he's essentially never had to struggle so hard to exercise such self-control (other than when he was a "newborn" vampire arguably). It's excruciating.
This is a classic positive steadfast character arc, with a "darkness within" trope. Edward wants to be good, but the antagonistic force is testing and tempting him to his limits, trying to get him to abandon his morals and beliefs, and become something worse.
At the end, Edward must safely suck venom out of Bella's blood--the ultimate (and climactic) test of self-discipline for him. He triumphs by finding the self-control to save the humanity of the girl he loves--what he values above all else.
How does this relate to theme?
Some argue that the theme topic of any romance story is love. I think that's fair, as an "umbrella" topic, but I feel you need to get more specific and nuanced. There must be something more thematically going on, that plays into the concept of love. This helps keep the story from feeling too generic. It helps it stand out from all the others in the romance genre. What is the theme that exists within that umbrella topic?
In Twilight, the theme topic pairing is self-control vs. self-indulgence. Thematically, these are the concepts that are being explored in the story the most. Edward is trapped between the two, and arguably so is Bella by extension. As they fall in love, things become more difficult. If either of them becomes too self-indulgent, Edward's vampiric tendencies become a greater threat.
I want to pause here for a moment, though, because I want to acknowledge that some people are put off by some of the language and comparisons used in relation to this. Bella's blood is Edward's "drug of choice" (that he's trying to resist). And in the text, there are comparisons to substances like alcohol and heroin. But as off-putting as it may sound to some, it actually fits right in with the thematic pieces: Addiction is the complete lack of self-control and the full takeover of self-indulgence. (I'm not saying you have to like it, but it suits the main theme just right.)
In the denouement, Edward remarks that the reason he was able to find the required self-control was because of his love for Bella.
So I would argue the primary thematic statement of Twilight is something like, love leads to self-control, which overpowers self-indulgence.
This also gets lightly mirrored in Bella, who is likewise trying to help keep the main antagonist at bay. Other characters, particularly Carlisle, Jasper, James, and Laurent, tap into these same values as well. Carlisle, in fact, is the full embodiment of the thematic statement. He has so much compassion for others, and so much self-control, that although he is a vampire, he works with blood every day as a doctor, helping to heal, not hurt, humanity. He is the model of how to live this life--and someone Edward feels he could never have the capacity to be. Edward is just not good like his father, Carlisle, is.
Bella fits in as the Influence Character here in the sense that Edward does not believe he's good enough to pass this test, but Bella insists he is; he can find the required self-control to live the life he wants. Love is worth the risk. She is the voice of that.
Bella begins the story believing that love and the safety (or happiness) of her loved ones, are worth risking hurt or even her life for. We see this right in the opening when she's moving to Forks in order to improve her mother's life. It's worth the pain, to make her mom happier.
In this sense, we may say that Bella embodies selflessness, which is notably also in opposition to self-indulgence. And just to throw in some complexity, we may even say she indulges in selflessness to the point she doesn't prioritize her self-preservation (which Edward calls her out on . . . (though he is simultaneously drawn to that selflessness, as pointed out elsewhere in the series)).
Unfortunately, these qualities come from a history of being parentified by her mother, which is another criticism the story gets--Bella's parents have parentified her (her mom more so than her dad). While this is normalized in Bella's POV, I don't think the story is necessarily glorifying it, because it does lead to some issues. I will say the story could have certainly addressed, developed, and handled this better (which I think Midnight Sun tried to do a bit, but it also introduced new problems), but at the same time, it's not like Bella is the only parentified teen viewpoint character in YA. Katniss is even more parentified; it's just more palatable because it's in relation to her little sister, not her mom, and it's also more necessary to their physical survival.
In any case, Bella's belief and desire is challenged through the middle because of her relationship with Edward. As a vampire, he's dangerous to be around, but Bella believes love is worth that risk. Love is worth the risk of hurt or pain (which is a concept that Edward struggles with). She ultimately adheres to this idea at the end when she goes to sacrifice herself to try to save everyone else. This doesn't necessarily work out the greatest for her, as this ends up creating new problems (like I said, it isn't all completely glorified).
While I feel like more work could have been done here (which I'll talk about below), I would argue that a secondary theme is that love is worth risking hurt and your life for.
The thematic pairing here is risking hurt for love vs. hurting loved ones for yourself (which is what Edward is afraid he will do--i.e. self-indulgence--and he does not believe he is worth that risk, like Bella does).
A tertiary thematic pairing is human vs. monster, as the story explores whether one's nature or one's behaviors make one a monster. Bella feels that one's behavior determines this, while Edward believes he's a monster by nature. Because he loathes his nature, he vies for Bella's humanity. Because Bella believes it's more behavioral, she argues on behalf of becoming a vampire. To Edward, this is nearly as bad, or even worse than death (depending on how that death happens).
And as I just alluded to, all these themes trickle down through the rest of the series--from the first whiff of Bella in Biology to Edward turning Bella in Breaking Dawn, which shows he's mastered enough self-control to deliver a baby (with his teeth no less) that Bella is literally giving her life for and that he can bite her with no risk of self-indulgence whatsoever (because of his love for her). He also sees (then proves) the child is not some monster bred of both realms--and therefore something worse than a vampire--but something wonderful to be protected.
So anyway, the thematic arguments go something like this:
Thematic Statement: Love (for others) leads to self-control, which overpowers self-indulgence.
Anti-thematic Statement (the counterargument within the story): Self-indulgence is more powerful than self-control (or, the love of self is more powerful than the love of others)
Thematic Statement: Love is worth risking hurt and danger for.
Anti-thematic Statement: Love is not worth risking hurt and danger for.
Thematic Statement: Humanity is determined by behavior, so one isn't a monster by nature.
Anti-thematic Statement: Humanity is determined by nature, so one is a monster by nature.
Despite all the flack Twilight gets, you have to admit, these are some pretty awesome arcs and themes to tap into! Is it such a wonder that, despite its flaws, it has pulled so many readers in?
The Relationship Plotline as the Primary Plotline
In most successful stories, there are three different types of plotlines, and the most common combination is external, internal, and relationship.
Usually the external and internal plotlines weave together to make what some people call the "A Story."
And the relationship plotline makes up the "B Story."
In a romance, or even in other relationship stories, these are flipped.
The relationship is the primary plotline (the A Story).
And the external and internal are the secondary plotlines (B Story).
This means that relationship stories function a little differently.
In most stories, the external is the most dominating plotline, and this means that, simplistically speaking, the values you are focused on most are "success vs. failure," or said another way, "victory vs. defeat." Either the character succeeds in getting the plot goal, or she doesn't.
In a relationship plotline, I've found that the values you are focused more on are "close vs. distant." Either the characters are drawing closer together, or they are getting pulled apart. The dominating forces are pushing and pulling. (Alternatively, you can also look at this as "trust vs. distrust.")
For this reason, it's unfair to approach a relationship story in the exact same way you would approach most other stories.
Twilight is a relationship story, so if you compare it to non-relationship stories, it's like comparing apples to oranges--it doesn't work very well.
Because the plotline is about the push and pull of a relationship, there will be some sort of "repellent" and "adhesive" in play. (Shout out to Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes and How to Write a Swoon-worthy Sweet Romance Novel by Victorine Lieske for bringing this to my attention.) Something is threatening to pull the characters apart, and something is promising to push them together.
In Twilight, the adhesion is the powerful attraction Edward and Bella feel toward each other (and their physical proximity of being at the same school), and the repellent is Edward's vampiric nature (which works as the main antagonistic force) and his behaviors that stem from that.
So we may say the main antagonistic force is the protagonist's self. There are other antagonistic forces, of course, but this is the main one.
So, when we are looking at the progression of the plot, we should really focus on the progression of the relationship arc (you'll see what I mean below).
The Structural "Skeleton" of Twilight
Act I: Moving from Classmates to Friends
Hook
(~1 - 5%)
The novel opens with a flashforward teaser that will happen at the climax of the book, when Bella is dealing with James. This is choice that some in the community would consider a writing "cheat," but it nonetheless serves as a hook and promises the audience there will be some exciting stakes later in the story (which makes sense--this story has a slow build).
In chapter one, we learn Bella doesn't want to live in Forks, but well . . . here she is. She's moving in with her father so her mom can travel with her new husband. And on her first day of school, Bella gets an Early Glance of the beautiful Cullens and has her Meet Cute with Edward in Biology. He seemingly can't stand being anywhere near her. The Meet Cute doubles as the inciting incident of the relationship plotline, and this becomes more obvious when we remember Edward is the true protagonist--this encounter upends his whole life as he knows it. Bella's blood is intoxicating to him, and he wants to kill her immediately, but manages to painstakingly, excruciatingly stave off the desire, settling for creating as much distance from her as possible (he actually ends up leaving for Alaska just to get away from the temptation). Of course, though, we won't learn all this until later.
But even looking at this from Bella's POV, this encounter immediately makes her uncomfortable around him.
It's also worth mentioning that this is what sets the main antagonist in motion--all these monstrous vampiric tendencies Edward has suppressed for years, are vying for his free will.
This meeting begins a push and pull, where Edward keeps pushing Bella away (creating distance) and then pulling closer (out of interest), which gives her "whiplash" through the whole first act.
Turn A
(~12%)
After a snowstorm, in the school parking lot, Tyler loses control of his car and nearly runs Bella over. With unexplainable speed and strength, Edward rescues her, stopping the vehicle with his bare hands.
Despite Edward's efforts to convince Bella she has mis-seen what happened, Bella doesn't buy it. Edward asks that she promise not to tell a soul, and he asks her to trust him. In the hospital, he refuses to explain more and even talks down to her, as he can't risk his secret getting out, but Bella decides she's not letting this mystery go. Whether they like it or not, they are becoming more interlocked.
And even though Bella is frustrated with him, she's developing a crush. (And later we'll learn that Edward is here as well.)
Plot Point 1
(~17% & ~25%)
Edward:
Edward's Plot Point 1 hits a bit earlier than normal, but it's Plot Point I because it turns the relationship in a definitive way. As he continues to develop feelings for Bella, Edward decides he can't stay away. Although he's aware that this is a bad and dangerous idea, he offers to drive Bella on her already-planned trip to Seattle, and then invites her to eat lunch with him in the cafeteria. Hesitantly, he says they can be friends, so this moves the relationship closer--from classmates to friends.
Bella:
At La Push, a teen from the reservation mentions the Cullens don't come here, and Bella decides to flirt with Jacob to get more information. Jacob tells about his people descending from wolves and how the "cold ones" are their natural enemies. He explains his great-grandfather supposedly made a treaty with the Cullens--the same ones alive today--because the Cullens don't hunt humans. Jacob explains that "Your people call them vampires," though he doesn't believe the story.
Bella now suspects Edward is a vampire, but feels crazy thinking it. She does some research and ultimately decides he is at least inhuman, if not a vampire. This moves the relationship toward the paranormal.
Note: I don't exactly consider Bella's a strong Plot Point 1, but it does show her taking steps to engage with the main conflict. Edward isn't physically present, and Bella still isn't convinced he is a vampire--I feel like this weakens this moment a bit and makes it feel a bit wishy-washy in this story. . . . which again contributes to me feeling like Edward is the true protagonist. His moment clearly and definitively turns the relationship status.
Act II, Part I: Moving from Friends to Couple
Turn B
(~34 - 37%)
In Port Angeles, after Bella goes dress shopping with Jessica and Angela, she is pursued by predatory men while walking alone, and Edward rescues her and then takes her to dinner. While I'm sure many would point to the dangerous men themselves as the turn, this is a relationship story, and the real turn comes from how the relationship changes. It's here at dinner (and after) that Edward begins indirectly admitting to his supernatural abilities. He explains he can read everyone's minds, but Bella's. In the car, he shares that he knew where she was on the street by following her scent.
Bella brings up Jacob talking about vampires, and the truth finally comes out as Edward begins shooting down myths and dropping knowledge about vampires, confirming this theory as correct.
We are seeing new sides to Edward, and he is opening up to Bella in ways he hasn't before. He is entrusting her with the biggest secret of his life. This draws the couple closer. It's also their first unofficial date.
Midpoint
(~50-57%)
And this is arguably their first official date--they go hiking to a beautiful meadow. This illustrates that Bella is very trusting of Edward at this point (and time with him is worth the risk to her). Edward is upset she didn't tell anyone who she was with and what she was doing. He's worried he won't have the self-control to keep her safe, and knowing someone else knows she's with him, would have helped him suppress his vampiric nature (it's all more difficult, more tempting otherwise). He doesn't want to kill her, of course, but he's a "monster," and it's in his nature unfortunately (Bella doesn't think he's a monster, so death isn't something she's very concerned about--she doesn't believe he'd do that).
Bella sees Edward in the sunlight, and they lie down in the meadow. Drawn in by his alluring scent, she leans closer, and Edward nearly loses it, so flees to the woods.
He explains he is the optimal predator--everything about him invites her in, his voice, his face, even his smell. But he can run faster and fight stronger than any human. "I can control myself. You caught me off guard"--he strengthens his resolve to have self-control.
He explains it's harder being around Bella, because her blood is like his own personal brand of heroin, and he's never encountered that before.
Edward reveals the truth of all his confusing behaviors up to this point in the story--all the "whiplash" he gave her, and how he started to fall for her. He declares his love for her, which Bella reciprocates (though she already expressed her feelings for him prior). They manage a risky kiss. If they are going to be together, they'll have to be cautious.
Often in relationship stories, the midpoint is where the characters get real close, closer than we've seen before, and certainly this scene fits that.
It's after this too, that Edward calls himself her boyfriend.
Act II, Part II: From Couple to (Physical) Separation--a Physical "Break Up"
Turn C
(~64%)
Edward takes Bella to his house to introduce her to the Cullens (after all, they're a couple now). Bringing her to a house full of vampires is certainly a big risk. He also explains that Alice, who can see the future, has had visions of other vampires arriving, so Edward might be a little extra protective of Bella over the coming weeks--most vampires don't abstain from feeding on humans like the Cullens do. Edward also explains Carlisle's backstory, which emphasizes the pain, difficulty, and torment that come with being turned into a vampire. (These pieces of info foreshadow the next major turns.) Edward plays the piano, a song he wrote for Bella.
So the two continue to draw closer, while danger begins to lurk.
Plot Point 2
(~75%)
Edward invites Bella to a baseball game with his family, where she helps Esme as referee. During the game, three vampires arrive, and although the Cullens try to mask Bella, James catches her scent, which leads to a confrontation with Edward.
Edward reads James's mind and learns he's a "tracker"--a vampire whose passion is tracking difficult prey (a form of self-indulgence), and he plans to start his hunt for Bella tonight. Edward is determined to get Bella away to safety ASAP.
There are some arguments about what to do next. Bella comes up with some ideas; Edward gets the final say. Bella insists she make a show of leaving Charlie, because she's worried about the FBI getting involved if she disappears, and the Cullens becoming suspects. She also wants to make it obvious she's leaving Forks, so her father won't be targeted by James (or his mate Victoria).
For the plan, Edward and Bella must split up, so they are physically separated.
In many relationship plotlines, Plot Point 2 will be the "Break Up" beat--depending on the genre and story, this may be a literal break up, or it may be a physical separation. We certainly see that here.
This takes us into the last act.
Act III: From Separated to Reunited (Rescued & Rescuer)
Turn D
(~87%)
Edward is hunting James, but loses him, so then heads to Phoenix.
Bella is sheltered in a hotel room with Alice and Jasper, waiting. She gets a phone call from James that he has her mother and is holding her hostage. He gives instructions for Bella to get away, go to her mother's home, and call a number there for more instructions.
Rather than meet Edward (and the others) at the airport as planned, she aims to lose everyone and do as instructed. She believes that loved ones dying because of you, is worse than dying yourself. She believes risking hurt or even death is worth it, if it saves those you love.
When she exacts her plan and follows the instructions, it leads us (and Edward) to the climax.
Climax (The Grand Gesture)
(~90%)
Bella arrives at the ballet studio to rescue her mother, only to learn her mother isn't there. It was all a ruse. James approaches her and reveals he will slowly kill and torture her, on video, in the hopes Edward will want to avenge her, and he can continue his sick little hunting game (self-indulgence). James had once hunted Alice, when she was human, but a vampire who cared for her turned her into one, in order to evade him. Seeing Edward care for Bella, triggered him, and he wants to redeem himself of the quarry he missed out on so long ago. He begins to attack, and bites Bella.
The Cullens arrive, and they take on James. Edward is soon faced with a crisis: If he doesn't suck the venom out of Bella, she will lose her humanity and become a monster like him, but if he tries, he might not be able to stop, he might lose control and take too much, killing the love of his life accidentally.
Carlisle (and then Alice) is trying to address Bella's other injuries, so she doesn't bleed out on her own. Edward is her only hope.
He determines to suck the venom, and triumphantly finds the self-control to conquer his vampiric nature.
Falling Action
(~92-100%)
In the hospital, Bella comes to. She asks how Edward was able to stop himself after taking out the venom. He says it was impossible to stop . . . but he did. "I must love you."
Bella wonders how Carlisle and Alice could handle all her blood as well. Edward says, "They love you, too, you know."
Everyone is safe and things are set right (more or less)
In the epilogue, Edward takes Bella to prom--he doesn't want her to miss her human rite of passage.
Editorial Feedback (Improving Twilight)
If a writer sent me this manuscript, there are some recommendations I would make, to take it to the next level.
. . . I'm sure a lot of people expect me to address the controversial parts of the book right away, but some of those things, from the writing perspective, are actually "skin" and "flesh"--they're cosmetics. This isn't to say they aren't important, they are, but they are cosmetics nonetheless, and I'm focusing mainly on the structural "bones" for this post (though I'll address some cosmetics below).
I also want to mention that this feedback won't be as comprehensive as when I do an actual developmental edit (in which I lay out both strengths and concerns). This is just a blog post, and these are some highlights. I'm also trying to look at more economical changes here, which I may not always prioritize with my clients, depending on where they are in the process (how much rewriting are they willing and able to do on the project?).
Plot Points
Bella's Plot Point 1:
I've already mentioned how Bella's Plot Point 1 feels wishy-washy to me, so I won't spend too much time on it. I feel she should have come to the conclusion Edward was a vampire, at least, even if she feels it makes her sound crazy. The fear of sounding crazy could have worked as her motive for not yet confronting him about it, and/or there could have been other motives built in. This reveal seems to be what Act I has been building toward in some sense--it provides context for all of Edward's bizarre behaviors since the meeting. It turns the relationship in an irrevocable way. Having Bella come to the conclusion that he's only "inhuman" feels a little weaker to me (didn't we kind of already know that?), but maybe the text gets by, because Edward is the protagonist, and he's really the one who turned the relationship in a prior scene.
Plot Point 1 could have also been made stronger, if there had been more of an external plotline (more on that in a sec).
The Climax:
I'm not necessarily against damsels in distress, especially if the damsel isn't the protagonist, but to be honest, Bella doesn't really do anything meaningful at the climax, and this could have been fixed. She's still the second-most important character (and the viewpoint character), so it would have been nice if she contributed something significant, even if it wasn't huge. Maybe she can't fight off James, but maybe she could have gotten helpful information from him. Perhaps rather than James just telling her about Alice, Bella could have done something to get that info. In order for that to be more effective, the story would have needed to emphasize Alice's amnesia more, and mention how her lack of memories is having a negative effect on her, and ideally Edward by extension. Maybe something about her visions of the future, relates to what she doesn't understand or know about her past, so there is a stronger need for Alice to learn about her past, in order to understand the future. Maybe her visions of the future are even becoming blurrier, because she needs to address something in her past. This does alter the story a bit, of course, but it wouldn't be a drastic rewrite.
Or, it could also be that Bella does something more that enables the Cullens to find her and defeat James (but as is, the Cullens already have the info they need prior to this point).
Or Meyer could also work in another thread entirely, and have Bella help resolve it here.
Or, looking at Bella's character arc, her sacrificial act should have indeed helped save someone, somewhere, somehow. Without that, her arc and related theme feel weaker (is it truly better to sacrifice your life for others when it doesn't really get anyone anywhere?). Ideally, I would tie this arc and theme to the Alice idea above. Maybe Alice's or Edward's life, or all the Cullens' lives are in (future) danger, if they can't find this info about Alice's past. And then when Bella encounters James, she realizes she can sacrifice herself to somehow get it--she can try to draw out the torture and get his confession on camera, which the Cullens will find (and James doesn't know the info will save their lives). Maybe the dangerous future Alice is trying to see, even relates to James and his cohort somehow (which also nicely foreshadows the upcoming books).
The External Plotline
One of the strangest things to me about this book's structure, is that there is really no external plotline until Act III. In a relationship story, usually there is still some sort of external plotline. Occasionally, it may not be introduced until the beginning of Act II, but it will still be there. I'm not against plotlines only lasting one act, but in such cases, like this, there would have still been a different external plotline happening earlier.
The film tried to "fix" this by moving up James and his coven, so that they were killing humans in the area, which Bella's dad was investigating--smart improvement that didn't take much rewriting. As such, this sort of starts as a societal plotline that turns into Edward's (and Bella's) external plotline. This could have been developed more so that Edward (and/or Bella, because of her father) were more involved, earlier. Perhaps Edward is trying to find or investigate these other vampires as well, and/or Bella gets involved somehow because it's affecting her dad, and she tries to be a parent to her parents (because her mom parentified her). Maybe a fellow student gets killed, so it feels more dangerous and personal, so that the leads feel compelled to do something more (this could have also added more tension between them).
As I lay this out, it may sound like it greatly alters the story, but it doesn't have to. It would be a matter of adding in a handful of scenes or weaving this in with scenes we already have, which would be totally doable if we also trimmed out what wasn't necessary in the story. The relationship plotline would still be the A Story--it would have the lion's share, so this plotline I'm inventing would get less on-page time. (So there is little to no reason for fans to fret that it's completely changing the story).
This would have also actually helped address some of the criticism that the story gets. By Act II, Edward is essentially stalking Bella--he says he does it in the name of (irrational) protection, and it does lead to him saving her life, but it's still a discomforting concept. If there was evidence that vampires were hunting in the area (and they even killed an actual classmate), and one or both of the leads were somehow trying to investigate it, then Edward's motive for wanting to keep Bella in view, because her blood makes her such an intoxicating target, makes a lot more sense. (Also, he doesn't need to go into her room--he can hear her voice and heartbeat from outside. Or, if the author really wants him to go in there, he could be led in there by thinking another vampire had been in there recently, or there is something else in there related to this new plotline I'm inventing). On this topic, I do want to note that when Bella does find out he's been in her room, she is very upset, at least at first; while I will admit the behavior is a bit romanticized (the reason Edward gives for doing this is that he thinks she's cute when she sleeps), I also don't think the concept is fully glorified.
Anyway, having vampires attacking early would have also put more pressure on all the main characters--it would have brought suspicion on the Cullens, particularly from the Quileutes. It would have also played into Bella's theories about Edward in some interesting ways, which could have given the story more opportunities to lean into the themes. It would have pushed both Bella's dad, Charlie, and Edward's dad, Carlisle, into more difficult work times. Perhaps Alice's visions aren't so helpful, because of the ideas I mentioned in the above section. This would have all created more goals and stakes in the story.
And the predatory men who target Bella could have fit in somehow. Maybe they somehow relate to what is going on with James, or maybe they work as red herrings. Right now, they are just one-offs, and while it's okay, it would have likely been more cohesive and satisfying, if they were weaved in more.
Or, if Meyer didn't want to go this direction at all, she could have created an external goal related to school. Bella obviously cares about doing well there, and she's smart. If there was some sort of school project, or long-term assignment she had to accomplish, Meyer could have made Bella and Edward assigned partners. This would have created more tension and obstacles in their relationship. Likely, the project would be for Biology, since that's the class they share together and the one that gets the most emphasis. This could have led to some entertaining or intriguing interactions, when we consider that Edward himself is biologically very different from humans, and when we consider how Bella biologically affects Edward (and is also somewhat biologically different from her peers, since Edward can't hear her thoughts).
In fact, this could have improved Plot Point 1, as typically in relationship stories, the characters are somehow tied together in that moment, and often externally. They could have been forced to work together on something, despite the tension and conflict that has been happening between them. (Perhaps Bella uses this experience to confirm her suspicions of him, while Edward is trying to dissuade her, at least initially.)
This wouldn't have been hard to add in, especially since Bella and Edward were partners for one in-class assignment--it should have been extended to a whole project. It's also worth mentioning that Edward is the smartest in his class (for obvious reasons) and Bella is the only student (beyond his siblings) who has a chance to keep up with him in academics, so even just that would have brought in some interesting interactions.
These seem like missed opportunities.
Bella Swan
On a personal level, I'm not usually a fan of the everyman character. The last time I saw one, I stopped watching the show, because I couldn't stand how blank and passive the protagonist was. These characters do have a place, though, and if an author for sure wants to write an everyman viewpoint character, I can respect that. While not my favorite approach, Twilight is one where I feel it can work well (as the sales show).
But I still think Bella could have been handled better. I would have liked to have seen more from her in here. The story would have been stronger if she'd had something more external and concrete she was pursuing. The Biology project and good grades could have helped with that, but it could have been something else; she doesn't have really any active hobbies. She cooks, does laundry, homework, and reads. Since her motivating want is safety and happiness for loved ones, maybe she could have had some sort of job, task, vocation, or goal that was a manifestation of that. It would not have had to take a lot of word count. Just something woven in here and there. (Again, getting indirectly involved in helping her dad on an investigation would have helped with this too). This would have strengthened both her characterization and one of the main themes.
Beyond all this, I think she comes off as a bit too weak. Somewhat weak and passive? Sure. She's the human everywoman of Edward's story. I get it. But I think it's a bit too much. She almost passes out multiple times (and does pass out once), often for things that aren't that bad; I would have asked the author to pull back on that. Meyer frequently states that the reason Bella is weak, is because she's human. While that is true . . . Bella is also just sometimes a weak human. I would've loved to see a bit more strength.
There is much more that could be said, but when looking at the bones of the story, those are the points I would address and prioritize first. This is obviously not my full feedback.
However, there are some controversial points that I didn't brush, because they are cosmetics. I wasn't going to address them originally, but thought I probably should.
Thoughts on Some Controversial Cosmetics
The "Age Gap":
One of the criticisms Twilight gets is about the "age gap." Edward was born in 1901, and the story takes place in 2005, so he's . . . 104 years old . . . or is he? The series makes it clear on multiple occasions that once you are turned into a vampire, you don't age. Other than the fact he's been turned into something superhuman, Edward quite literally has the physical brain and body of a 17-year-old--the age he was when Carlisle turned him. This is the reason why it's strictly forbidden in the books to turn babies, toddlers, or young children into vampires--because then you have a dangerous, uncontrollable vampire loose who has the brain of a child.
So certainly Edward has been on the planet a lot longer, but biologically, he's not older. It's also worth mentioning, he hasn't hit much of any adult milestones; he hasn't had a career, been in a relationship, or taken care of children in any capacity. He does have some college degrees.
I'm not telling you to feel one way or another about it, but it's worth acknowledging that the situation is more nuanced than many critics give it credit for. It's also worth mentioning that no one seems to bat an eye when this happens in other popular franchises. For example, in The Lord of the Rings, Arwen and Aragorn get together, and Arwen is literally over 2,600 years older than Aragorn. And more recently, in KPop Demon Hunters, Jinu is ~400 years older than Rumi. Those gaps are way bigger. We also have Peter Pan and Wendy, who develops feelings for him. We don't know how long Peter has been alive, but it's likely significantly longer than Wendy. In the film Hook, Peter ends up marrying Wendy's granddaughter.
If someone doesn't like the Twilight "age gap," that's fine, but it only seems fair to apply that dislike here and elsewhere. Yet literally no one I've met seems to care two cents about Arwen and Aragorn, nor Jinu and Rumi, nor Peter and Wendy (or Wendy's granddaughter) on this point. I think for many, the controversy around the "age gap," has more to do with people wanting to dislike Twilight, and finding reasons to.
As an editor in a situation like this, I would probably point out this likely critical feedback to the author, but then just let her decide what to do. Sure, Meyer could have made Edward "younger," but it would have also altered his character and even one of the plotlines in the series, so those would need to be tweaked as well. So, it's cosmetic, but it does have some deeper ramifications.
Sparkly Vampires:
Some people hate that she made her vampires glitter in sunlight. This is a super cosmetic concern. This could easily be switched out for something else visual that happens in sunlight. I admit, maybe it does sound silly (and some things in the series can certainly be a bit silly), but it actually does fit in with some of the fantastical elements. When someone turns into a vampire, they become cold and hard like stone. They are often compared to granite or marble in the books. So the idea of having their skin look like diamonds in sunlight, sort of fits with this idea that their bodies have been crystallized/pressurized into a stone-like state. I don't think Meyer necessarily thought that far when making them sparkle initially, but it does fit as we learn more. This is really a preferential decision, and if she wants her vampires to sparkle, she can do that.
Yes, it does play into some other plot elements, but again, you could switch this visual out for a different one, and it wouldn't change the plot (or characters, or themes). If you hate it and it was your story, you could have just swapped it out.
"Predatory" Behaviors:
I've already touched on this a few times above, but some argue against some of Edward's behaviors, bringing up the stalking bit and also saying he is possessive and controlling. I get where these criticisms come from, but again, I feel this is more nuanced and needs to be put into context. Sometimes I wonder if people have forgotten one crucial thing: Edward Cullen. is. a. vampire. That is the whole premise of the story. It's also kind of the whole point of the story. That he is naturally and biologically a dark predatory creature who yearns to be good, and tries to choose to be good. His whole arc is about trying, and trying, and trying to master self-control, about how he finds that self-control through love. It's what enables him to save Bella in this book. It's what enables him to be the only vampire, in the absence of Carlisle, capable of performing an emergency C-section with his teeth in the last book. (Yeah, if you haven't read it, you're thinking that sounds a little weird right now, but it makes sense within the context of the story.)
Is this all handled to its fullest potential? Certainly not. Maybe it even gets romanticized to some extent (as is often the case with vampires in general, not just this story), but I wouldn't say it's glorified. After all, Edward hates his nature more than anyone else.
Is this not a spin on "The Beauty and the Beast" trope? How love for another can help tame the monster?
Sure, it could have been executed better, but this is at the story's true heart. That when we choose love, we can tame the worst parts of ourselves.
And really, while the writing itself could use some help, when I look at the story's "bones," I can't argue that such a message is bad. (And if I do, I must surely lump Disney's Beauty and the Beast in with it.)
I only wish I could have done a developmental (and line) edit on this before it was published--but it seems to have fared well without me 😉. Looking at some of these "bones," though, maybe that's why. The target audience resonates more with its heart, than its execution.
If they didn't, then why was it Twilight and not some other fantastical story or some other hunky guy written with better "lines" that topped the charts? There is something much deeper that lurks beyond its clumsy, and at times, silly, telling. Something that means something to people, beyond a simple swoon.
In any case, regardless of how you feel about Twilight, I hope this has been insightful or helpful to you.
Like this info? You might like my online writing course.
Additional slides I put together to map out the story according to that course, for anyone who has taken that class. I won't be explaining them in detail here.
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