What is Head Hopping? And Why is it Bad? (with Examples)

If you are writing in third person point of view, you should almost always avoid what's called "head hopping," and stick to one character's perspective at a time. But that is sometimes easier said than done, especially when you are new to writing. All of us have head hopped at one point or another, so let's go over what it is, why it's a problem, and how to (potentially) get away with it.

What is Head Hopping?

Head hopping happens when the writer jumps from one character's head to another's within a passage; it's a switch in viewpoint that is typically considered an error. 

This is different from a writer changing viewpoint characters at a scene or chapter break, which is considered acceptable. 

Head hopping, though, is best understood with an example.

Head Hopping Example

Macie searched through the aisles of dresses, hoping to find the perfect one. It needs to draw attention, but not steal it, she thought. It needs to be flattering, but not revealing. She slid through dresses on a rack in the way one might flip pages in a picture book, while her friend Daisy yawned on a stool near the dressing rooms.

She always takes forever to pick anything, Daisy recalled, before pulling out her phone. Without thinking, she started scrolling through photos of her ex. She still wasn't ready to let go of the best thing that had ever happened to her, Mitch Albery.

An employee hurried over, asking again if Macie was ready to try something on. It seemed these days that shoppers mostly wanted to look, not buy, and she was feeling the pressure to change that.

In this example, the text hops heads twice. The passage starts in Macie's point of view; we are following her, and we are in her mind and body, but then in the next paragraph, we are in Daisy's point of view, and we have access to her mind. Soon after, we hop again into the employee's point of view. Sure, it's more subtle but neither Macie nor Daisy would know how shoppers have been here lately, so that's information that must come from the employee. These are viewpoint errors. 

Head hopping can show up in more obvious and jarring ways. For example, I could have something like this:

Macie searched through the aisles of dresses, hoping to find the perfect one. It needs to draw attention, but not steal it, she thought. She always takes forever to pick anything, Daisy recalled.

It can also show up in less obvious ways, like this:

Macie searched through the aisles of dresses, hoping to find the perfect one. It needs to draw attention, but not steal it, she thought. It needs to be flattering, but not revealing. She slid through dresses on a rack in the way one might flip pages in a picture book, while her friend Daisy yawned on a stool near the dressing rooms. She scrolled through Valentine's photos of her ex.

If Macie is looking through dresses, then she probably can't see what's on Daisy's phone over by the dressing rooms. Maybe it's not so much "head" hopping, as it is "body" hopping. It's a minor viewpoint error, but a viewpoint error nonetheless.

Why is Head Hopping Considered a Problem?

Head hopping is often done poorly by new writers, so it can be disorienting, jarring, and confusing (especially when it seems we're jumping into random people at random times). If we are in Macie's point of view for the entire chapter, and then get a couple sentences in Daisy's point of view, Daisy's feels incongruent.

Many new writers use head hopping without even thinking twice about it. It's unintentional and unmerited, so the writer can come across as if they are lacking self-awareness. Or perhaps they just lack respect for basic writing rules.

Just because the written word allows us the flexibility to jump from here to there to anywhere, doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Head hopping is sometimes done out of laziness. It takes more skill and discipline to tell a story from one viewpoint character at a time (unless, of course, you are writing in omniscient, which I'll get to in a bit). It's sort of a cheat to relay to the audience what would otherwise be inaccessible. 

When writers hop heads, they often draw attention to themselves, pulling the reader out of the story, as the reader remembers they are indeed reading a story. Because they aren't experiencing the story like the viewpoint character is, this can make the reader feel a little more distant. It's not a true-to-life experience, which is often what we want, so it can feel less authentic.

Hoping heads also often leads to more telling than showing. When you can't jump into someone else's mind, you have to work harder at showing what that character is probably thinking and feeling.

With all that said, though, this is a very common--and I may even dare say "normal"--thing to do as a beginning writer. I don't believe I've ever met anyone who understood viewpoint perfectly naturally when starting out. So, if this is something you are struggling with, be patient with yourself.

Understanding Third Person Point of View

Head hopping virtually always happens in third person point of view, where the narrator refers to the viewpoint character by name and uses the pronoun "he," or "she," or on occasion "it" or "they" for that character.

Josh went to the stairs. He called out to Mary.

This is different from first person point of view, where the narrator is the character telling the story in his or her own words, and uses the pronoun "I."

I went to the stairs. I called out to Mary.

Newer writers often assume that because the story is in third person, not first person, the narrator can jump from one viewpoint character to another at any given moment.

While this is technically possible, it's largely frowned upon in the professional realm, for the reasons I mentioned above. Despite how stories of the past have been written, according to today's standards, if third person isn't written from one viewpoint character's perspective at a time, it's flawed.

This sometimes leads new writers to lament that if third person can only follow one person at a time anyway, then what's the point in choosing between first and third? One of the main differences is the narration. In first person, essentially every line needs to be told in that character's voice. This brings the audience closer to that character. Third person has more flexibility, and it allows you to go deeper or grow more distant from the viewpoint character (generally speaking)--this is called point of view penetration--but the text should still follow one viewpoint character at a time.

If you have multiple viewpoint characters, then you're expected to only change viewpoint characters at a scene break or, more commonly, a chapter break. Meaning, you could write one scene with Macie as the viewpoint character, and another with Daisy as the viewpoint character. But you wouldn't jump from Macie's head to Daisy's in the middle of a passage. (And it should go without saying that you shouldn't hop from Macie's head to someone who isn't a main viewpoint character in a passage either.)

It's unlikely you'll head hop in first person point of view, at least not obviously, but that doesn't mean it or something similar can't sneak in (Macie can't see what's on Daisy's phone in first person either).

Understanding Omniscient Point of View

If you've read popular books that seem to have a lot of head hopping, it's because the writer is using omniscient point of view, not your typical first or third. In omniscient, the narrator is (theoretically speaking, unless stated otherwise) a "god." As such a "god" can know anything about anything at any given moment. This means the narrator can zoom into one character's head and tell you what she is thinking, then zoom out and back in on another character and tell you what he is thinking. Then the narrator can jump to another country in another timeline, and tell you what is going on there, while following no particular character. All in a matter of paragraphs.

But this point of view is not for the ignorant, the lazy, or the sloppy. On the contrary, most everyone agrees that omniscient point of view is the most difficult to pull off when it comes to writing a satisfying story. Yes, it can be done, and done well, but it probably shouldn't be your go-to, unless you have a good reason for it. In the wrong hands, it causes unnecessary problems.

How to Fix Head Hopping

If head hopping is a struggle for you, make sure you know which character is the current viewpoint character in a given scene, and imagine being in that person's mind and body for the duration of that scene. Is there anything in the text that the viewpoint character wouldn't know, see, or experience? If so, that's a viewpoint error and needs to be cut or reworked. The viewpoint character can't know for sure what another character is thinking (unless you have telepathy in your book), so any lines from another's mind will need to be reworked or cut. Here are the tools you have at your disposal:

Dialogue--perhaps the character can say what she is thinking (or in some cases, feeling) in dialogue. Just make sure it is realistic and not unnaturally straightforward.

Physical description--perhaps you can convey that the character is nervous by mentioning she has beads of sweat on her forehead, instead of having her think nervous thoughts.

Action--convey what the character thinks by what he does. If he thinks your protagonist is weak, then have him start a fight.

Viewpoint character's assumptions and interpretations--your viewpoint character can't definitively know what another is thinking, but she can make assumptions (that may or may not be accurate). Macie may assume that Daisy is looking at photos of her ex (but she doesn't know it for a fact).

So I could rework my earlier example like this:

Macie searched through the aisles of dresses, hoping to find the perfect one. It needs to draw attention, but not steal it, she thought. It needs to be flattering, but not revealing. She slid through dresses on a rack in the way one might flip pages in a picture book, while her friend Daisy yawned on a stool near the dressing rooms.

Daisy seemed sick of waiting; she pulled out her phone. Probably scrolling through photos of her ex again, Macie thought. She wished Daisy could see that Mitch was not the "best thing that ever happened to her."

An employee hurried over. "Are you ready for a dressing room yet?" she said waspishly. 

Breaking the Rule: Hopping Heads

As I often say on here, every rule is made to be broken. And plenty of successful writers have head hopped. J. K. Rowling did it right smack dab in the first Harry Potter book--head hopping from Harry to Hermione during a quidditch match. New York Times bestselling author David Farland also did it in Nightingale.

So while it's usually best not to head hop (especially if you are a new writer) . . . sometimes "cheating" makes for a better story.

I love the head-hopping story about David Farland--I'm not sure if it was from Nightingale or a different book, but his editor asked, "Did you just head hop?"

And he replied. "Yes."

And that was that.

If you decide you want to head hop (which, for the record, I don't recommend), there are a few things to keep in mind. Make sure it's intentional (There is no room for ignorance or laziness as a professional.). Make sure it strengthens and doesn't weaken the story. Make sure it's merited. And keep it from being disorienting.

It's usually best not to hop to a different head in the same paragraph. Start a new paragraph, like you would with dialogue. 

Almost always, you want to add one or more paragraphs in between as sort of a "buffer." These will usually help you zoom out of one head and then zoom into another. So first show us Harry flying in the game, then have the narration describe the audience, then drop us into Hermione's position. Keeping a nice stylistic flow is also important when it comes to getting away with a head hop.

You should know, though, no matter how well you write it, you will always get pushback, and there will always be some in the industry who consider it an error.

Personally, I avoid head hopping altogether.

Related Articles:

Minor Viewpoint Errors

Breaking Writing Rules Right: Don't Use Filter Words

Point of View Penetration

Author Voice vs. Narrator Voice vs. Character Voice